dana1witch

Dexter dexter dexter

2009-12-14T07:36:51Z

It's his fault I am still awake at this hour. The last episode ended with him in the trunk of a car so I had to watch another one.

I'm really getting into this show. If you're in the right mood there are a lot of great lines in it. "Oh, great, she's got issues. So she's not out of my league" (quoting one of the characters). I guess I should be looking for a guy with issues - oh wait, I already had one and I've let him go. Oh wait, his issues Were too big for me. Too big for anyone, probably. Oh well. So much for that.

I can't wait for my road trip to sun and warmth.

all that

2009-12-09T14:51:31Z

Starting the day with a post just because I have things in my head I might forget by noon.

It's been a very eventful and emotional 3 days. For one thing, Empires have released a new single, Bang, and it's been like an internet party. Everyone getting excited, talking about it all over the place, counting down the hours and minutes together until we could get it. I felt like I was part of something. It was great. Oh, and the song is so good, I've listened to it about 20 times in the meantime. It should be a big hit. I wanna find out more about how we the fans can help promote it to radio stations and such.

In other news I found that Bill Beckett has a 2 year old girl. The irony is that it was also in a magazine article I've had for at least 2 months but haven't bothered reading. I am quite happy to know that there is a little girl out there carrying his genes, that is so totally cool. But it changes a bit how I see him. There is nothing like having a kid to make a boy suddenly look like a man. So far I've been keeping myself at a good distance from him at concerts because I was seeing him as this young, pretty, fragile thing I could hurt by just staring at for too long. I guess I don't see him as fragile anymore. I might stop and say hi if I happen to see him after a concert and he's not surrounded by adoring fans.

I guess you forget to pay attention for a couple of years and the boy becomes a man. You forget to pay attention to yourself for a few years and all of a sudden the happy go lucky party girl is now a professional whose major question is "how well did I do my job today?". Time flies, it's the nature of things. Life is what happens when you're busy doing other things (right, John?)

The last eventful thing - I've discovered a very unexpected fellow Wow player. Somebody interesting. If I can stop beating myself over everything that is wrong with me for a minute I might pursue trying to do a dungeon or two with him. It might be a lot of fun.

Ok, I'll end this on a note on Lady Gaga. I hate her name, I don't like her, I hate Poker Face, I dislike how much publicity there is around her. But I have to admit that it is not possible for a song like Bad Romance not to appeal to me. It easier to just accept it.

dream

2009-12-04T16:37:26Z

I had a dream this morning just before I woke up. Someone had taken a fish out of a basin of water and they were going home with it to cook it, but the fish slipped out of their hand and it started to jump and wiggle its way around the room, in search of a water it could get back to. But of course it couldn't, because the rim of the basin was too high up and the fish was nowhere near it. But the fish had quite a lot of life left in it, and it kept struggling, even though it was clear to everyone but it how things would turn out in the end. We were all chasing after it and I asked with sadness, "can't we just kill it?" That's when I woke up.

And then I realized that sometimes this is exactly what love feels like. There is no way for it to accomplish anything, or what it was based on is already over and done and boxed and sealed, but some part of it is still full of life and it struggles not to give up. And I wish I could just give it a blow to the head and silence it, whenever that happens.

more game and conding

2009-12-02T19:02:29Z

I have declared myself satisfied with how far I got into my Flash game. Here is the version I'm settling on, if anyone is curious:
http://chimeer.deviantart.com/art/Shoot-the-Moon-145352303

I'm also making progress with my Cocoa iPod game, but for every 5 steps forward I take I run into an impasse and there are no straight answers out there. Sure, you can find a few tutorials that might point you in the right direction. Each of them is long and takes careful reading and going through the steps at the same time, and it's not easy to spot what the answer to my question would be at a glance. I was hoping to find the one missing link I need to finish my program in a half hour of search plus 1 hour of reading, but it looks like I might need a lot more.

I find it a lot easier to find good documentation about Flash than about Xcode. Of course, Flash being more popular and a simpler environment to some extent explains this.

The last thing I might do with my Xcode game is port it to Visual Studio, maybe the XNA version. But that won't happen in time to show it in my class, I'm afraid.

Each of these things I've been trying to learn could probably take a whole semester just by itself to master properly. Maybe I should rethink my goals better the next time - if there is a next time, that is.

the quick and the strange

2009-11-26T16:29:56Z

I've been in a strange mood lately. It's like my subconscious is anticipating something big/important/awesome happening soon but my conscious has no idea what. Of course, it's probably related to the semester ending soon - I seem to have lost patience with it. And I'm not the only one. Everyone wants it to be over. Should we go to a trimester system, maybe, if 14 weeks are too long?

Anyway, I find myself impatient with everything - it's like my mind refuses to cooperate and find anything interesting beyond the thing it's looking forward to - which I don't know what it is. It takes effort to concentrate on anything.

It will pass.

I might go see New Moon again. Though I'm definitely not a fan - or at least that's what I tell myself - and there are 3-4 other movies out there I haven't seen that I could go to instead.

I'm off to a Thanksgiving lunch now with my lovely usual hosts. It will be good not to think of myself for a few hours.

wind-up bird

2009-11-13T19:27:15Z

I managed to finish the Wind-up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami and I'm reasonably happy with the ending. I mean I suppose that part of the Japanese state of mind and philosophy or tradition is not to explain to the audience absolutely every detail of the story and to leave some of it up to their interpretation. Or at least to make the reader think/understand some of it by themselves. So in that sense I didn't expect everything to be crystal clear, but I think I got it over all. Just don't ask me to explain it. Or I guess I could try to articulate it - but if you haven't read the book yourself, it doesn't make sense to read an interpretation of it.

One funny thing about it - I have been picturing Dr. Lee from Three Rivers in the role of Toru, and since then I got a weird feeling watching the show. It's like I have a secret relationship with Dr Lee now - and once in a while I'm wondering what Toru is doing in that hospital. It will pass. Btw, he's hot - you should check him out.

Talking about the wind-up bird, I was thinking that we go through our lives like some wind-up toys too, and that our spring has a given energy to begin with, which winds down little by little as we grow old. Many things and people can wind us up again from time to time. I was just wondering how do you know where your spring is at in terms of winding down, and how that doesn't necessarily go with the physical degradation of your body - there are old people who are very sprite and younger people who are sort of tired all the time and blase.

Anyway, it was a good book all things considered and I'm glad it was pushed on to me. Not really pushed, but if you leave a book in my house, sooner or later it's gonna get read.

cat silliness

2009-10-22T17:28:12Z

I don't often repost clips but this one is really well made - for cat lovers:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/what-cats-are-really-thinking-cci

In other news, I am learning about 5 new libraries/APIs for writing games this semester, which is sort of awesome, but can get confusing. I have been writing this iPod touch game using the Game Salad, a pretty nice program overall but with some limitations. I'm still learning my way around Flash and plan to do a memory game to hone my skills. And turn it into a lab for my game programming class. It looks like the students would really like to learn a bit about the XNA - so I will be installing that on Windows soon-ish and start playing with. And last, I just installed the full iPod/iPhone SDK on my office Mac because I think that if you're serious about writing iPod games, you need more than the Game Salad. I will start looking into it some more any time now.

irony

2009-10-17T17:04:51Z

I am reading this book that Chrys left for me last summer, The Chronicles of the Wind-Up Bird by Haruki Murakami and it's sort of different from my usual lectures. The book feels very strange, although nothing really that abnormal (or paranormal) has happened yet per se. When I started I had a suspicion that the lead character was in fact dead, kind of like in the Sixth Sense style, but I don't think that's the case. Although I'm not completely convinced yet either. It has a little bit of the Ring feeling, the original Japanese movie. Just a type of voice that I'm not used to that given me a feeling that anything can happen at any time.

I also find it funny how people in books and movie tell their life stories with intimate details to complete strangers within 10 minutes of meeting them, just because the author needs to tell that to the reader, or because the detective needs to learn a clue about the murder, and so on. How many times did that happen to anyone real? Not that I'm complaining about it in this book, it's just funny when you think about it.

toronto adventure and Matt

2009-09-26T19:33:40Z

I haven't posted here in a while, it's true. This one is about a trip to Toronto to see a play of Matthew Ferguson, Vigil. He produced it himself with a new company he started out, Long Eared Plays. The play was about a guy who is asked to come visit by a dying aunt to say goodbye and he ends up staying a lot longer than planned because the aunt isn't really dying that fast. It was really funny, like almost every line was amusing. Matthew was excellent in it and it was great to be able to enjoy his acting up close (very close).

The trip to Canada went smoothly, except for passing the border. For some reason, the customs officer would not believe me that I was going all the way to Toronto just for a theater play. They searched my car and everything, asked me lots of questions, even if Matt was my boyfriend. I couldn't help but smile at that, which I don't think improved my case with them.

So I hooked up with Jan, a friend from near Toronto, and we both went to see the play. The playhouse where it happened is a little community cultural center that can be rented to do all kinds of different stuff. It's really charming. Inside there was just the stage and three rows of chairs on both sides. Jan and I took a couple of them right next to the stage. We were really just two feet from Matt at some points during the play.

The play itself is really funny - which I knew from some of the reviews I'd read before, but Jan didn't expect. It's by a quite famous writer, Morris Paynch. It doesn't sound like it, but the first time you see it, you won't stop laughing. Matt was so good in it, so natural, and to my delight he had almost all the lines. It's almost like a monologue, because the first half of the play the old lady doesn't say anything, she just reacts to what the nephew says - which she did very well and that was quite funny in itself. I had a great time watching it.

After the play I wasn't expecting much, but Jan had to go to the washroom (the Canadian bathroom), and I was casually waiting for her perched on the fence on the porch of the playhouse, when Matt came by and even said hello to me! I had a moment of doubt where I could have let him just go on to other people, but I somehow managed to get two sentences together and introduce myself. He thought he had met before - but I would certainly have known if we had! He recognized my name and knew I had worked on the website, and he thanked me for all the work. Then we started a conversation and Jan joined us after a while.

In no particular order, I mentioned the run-in with the Canadian Customs and he was greatly amused by it. I also told him I also spoke French with a Romanian accent, because in the play the guy says at some point that he had a Romanian tutor and that he spoke French with a slight Romanian accent. He asked me to demonstrate, and we did a couple of exchanges in French. He let me take a couple of picture: this one and this one.

As I didn't have any reason to rush back home the next day, I decided to come back and see the play again the next day. Which I did. It was a lot of fun the second time around and it was interesting to see it knowing what was going on. It's kind of like watching the Sixth Sense again - once you know what is really going on. After the play I just waited outside a little bit thinking I would just say goodbye and leave. When he came out and saw me, he hugged me again, and then said "I want to give you a t-shirt". But before he got to that, I just had to trail beside him while he stopped and exchanged polite things with the people who had come to see the play. Made me feel special. Bit of conversation: the girl who was helping out asked me if I was a fan of Morris Paynch, the writer. Matt said no with a big laugh, and I said very determined, "no, I'm a fan of him", and the look on his face was priceless. Like, "she's a fan of little old me, can you believe that?", happy and a bit proud, and amused. She said, "oh, then I won't keep him from you" which I thought was so nice. So finally he went backstage and came out with the box of t-shirts, and brought out one that was XL, and he said "but they are not that big". He pulled it out and measured it against me, saying "yes, I think that's the one for you". So sweet. After that I said I was going to go catch my ferry, which was still about 45 minutes away, and he asked me if I was in a hurry. He did not have to ask me twice. Not quite believing my luck I stayed and hanged out with him for the time it took for the ferry to come, and we talked some more.

So I got to ask him how the filming for Hypercube went, and he explained that they had about a cube and a half, but that the director had no idea what he was doing. Like, he would tell him, "so you leave now", and Matt would say to him "but I have some lines now" and the guy would go "oh, then you stay and he goes". Like he hadn't even read the script. He concluded that the movie could have been better, but that the first one was really good. I told him he should watch Cube Zero, which is the third one in the series. We reminisced a bit about his LFN days and I told him it was back on tv in Germany (I hope I was right). He told me a funny story about the guy in Quebec who has been dubbing his voice forever, like the same guy was always doing it, and how he met him at some point and he told Matt "so what's our next gig, what do we do next?" (it was funnier when Matt told it).

We got to talk a little about me too. He asked what I was doing for a living, and said I was a teacher, and he asked at what level and I said college. He asked about the age of my students, and the size of my classes (he seemed impressed with the fact that I've had classes of 40 people). The girl wanted to know what kind of computer science I taught, and I told her c++ and Python (my favorite languages), at which she nodded knowledgeably, which made me think she might be a science student. I just assumed she was an artist in training of some sort. I told Matt that I knew some of the commands that he used in the show and that I was happy to see that I was teaching that to my students. He told me that he had a friend who was into computers and that during the show he was running things by him from time to time to make sure that they knew what they were doing. I told him he was very believable.

We've talked about the LFN fan groups I'm in and how Jan and I met - he said that he found Jan very funny (in a good way) - and about cynbythesea. I remembered to tell him that my grandma has done theater for a good part of her life, and even my mom until she was about 30 something when my dad decided to forbid her to continue (true story), at which he was very sympathetic. I just said that I was sad that I didn't get to see either of them on stage, and that the old lady made me think of my grandma. It was cute, btw, to see him worry about her and her whereabouts, and if she was getting to the ferry safely.

Ok, so about 10 minutes before the ferry was leaving we got up and said goodbye, and he hugged me again very tightly this time. That's when I said I hoped to see him again and he said yeah and promised to keep in touch with us on his projects. I believe he plans to do another play next summer and I'll have to see how I can volunteer to help.

That's about it. I got home safely, and I was quite pleased when the US customs officer asked me why had I been to Toronto and I said "I went to the theater" and he said "Ah, ok" and then wished me a nice trip. Thanks, US customs, for being understanding of people with cultural needs.

My overall impressions of Matt: he is a very sweet guy, quite similar to his characters in that sense, but also different in some ways. Like, there is a certain fragility about some of the roles he plays, but I didn't get that about him. He seemed quite solid in a sense, down to earth, quite modest, very sensitive, caring and understanding. Great sense of humor. In
particular Birkoff was somehow an antisocial guy, just because he had grown up in Section and all, but Matt is quite his opposite in that sense. I was impressed with how easily he went around after the play talking to everyone, making everyone feel at ease, and I think he has
quite a lot of friends. Which is not surprising because he has an easily likable personality. Oh, and he's also quite athletic, which is not something you'd guess from seeing him on screen.

As a footnote to this adventure, I discovered in the meantime that Malcolm Gets, the one who played the quirky but charming Richard in Caroline in the City, another actor I happen to like, will be playing the same role in NY soon. I wish I could go. I'll have to figure out if I can, by any chance.

hanging on

2009-05-19T05:22:55Z

Lots of things happening around me. Not directly involving me, but I feel close enough to everyone that it affects me. I'm good for now, but it's not the right time for anyone to be snapping at me. Especially for no reason. I feel like the more I try to fix everything around me, the worse it gets.

I've been obsessing these days over Empires. Actually it's We Are Empires (because the name was taken). I'm going to see them next Friday in Chicago and right now that's the thing I'm most looking forward to. I will just be there for the music, and ignoring some people I might know who will probably be there. Not because I don't want to talk to them, but because I don't think they need my company. There is just one person I could tolerate at this concert, but I can't ask them to come. And I'm not even sure if this is their kind of music. Basically I'm playing anti-social right now. To some extent.

new day

2009-04-29T17:05:37Z

I am relieved to find out that 30 Seconds to Mars is reaching a settlement with EMI Records. 30 millions (one million for every second I guess) is a lot to gamble in a guy versus big corporation game, even with a chance to win. So a new album and maybe concerts should be on their way now. Yay. At least someone is seeing reason (unlike other people I know).

Lately I've been feeling like a noble at the court of the Tudors or of one of the Louis French kings, but without all the sex. It all sounds so glamorous. It ain't. I'll have to take things in my hands soon and try to get the machine running smoothly again, but I'm concerned that I might be clumsy and break more stuff than what I would like to fix. It doesn't look so far like I've done anyone any good trying to mingle. I might learn to keep my mouth shut from all this, after all.

Anyway, I gots a neural network and data to feed it, and I'll get more data soon and that is good. Now the real hard stuff starts, which is making it do what I want. But it's fun and it feels good to make progress.

the academy is bill

2009-04-13T03:18:46Z

I've been to New Orleans this last week. Taken off in the morning, drove all day, spent two days in good company and being warm and walking a lot and seeing lots of things, including a panel that gave me ideas for a course. Everyone else (almost) was there for a conference. I felt like a fraud being there just for fun. Then drove back to Chicago for an amazing concert at the Bottom Lounge. And I'm posting the link here because We Are Empires will be coming back in May and I intend to go if I don't have something else to do that very day.

Evan Taubenfeld was the first act and I enjoyed it, mostly because he must be the funniest emo guy in Chicago, with a cute and touching style. It was hard not to smile/laugh and he knows very well how to engage a public who was there for someone else. Apparently he was featured in an Avril Lavigne clip once, if I got that right. Next was Empires, acoustic, and even though I'm quite familiar with the music, it's the first time I saw them. A really good first impression. The singer's voice sounds just as good live, with a disturbing but appealing quality, and he can do interesting stuff with it. It's a group to keep an eye on.

And last, there was Bill Beckett from The Academy Is... The poster had the name of the group, but it was just him. Sisky was supposed to be there but he got injured saving a girl from a dragon. I suppose a big model of some sort that was falling on the girl and his hand got in the way. On purpose. Bill didn't tell us the whole story. Back to Bill. I was impressed with his guitar skills. I mean the man can play (insert here a slightly modified chorus from Ziggy). The songs sounded great with just him and an acoustic guitar (actually two of them that he kept switching, for some reason), and we got to hear a lot of little stories about them. I didn't know, for example, what His Girl Friday was about (go Bill, that's a cute one). I also gotta give him props for his Rubik solving skills (see a recent clip on his blog above). He's my hero. Also an acoustic show meant that he didn't get to run around the stage and do his usual rock star routines, but he talked a lot more instead. I will take that for a change. Right in front of me there was this old guy with a little hat who didn't seem to be watching over anyone else (I thought he must be some girl's dad), but seemed to really enjoy the show and the music instead. I wanted to give him a hug. Then I wondered if it could have been Bill's dad by any chance, given that this was his home town.

Down to earth from there (or Earth 2, according to BSG). It's been a rough two months for everyone, it seems. I don't know why that is. Maybe the world has used up their good karma when Obama was elected and now we're paying for it (most likely not - but I do believe in a sort of universal balance and that if something really good happens to you, something really bad has to happen to cancel things out or not necessarily in that order - it can't rain or shine all the time for anyone). I know that people would like me to be well. But I don't believe that it's because they care about me. It's just so that they can scratch me out of their "list of things and people to worry about" and go on with their perfect little lives that they are happy with and not have to feel bad about anyone. It's like a few years back when people in the department were worried that I was anorexic. One of them told me that he hoped that was not the case, "because the department can't deal right now with an anorexic person". Well, I had to get better, I couldn't possibly have any personal problem to affect the department that way. How selfish of me to be a person. I still don't get it how someone as smart and with such people skills as this guy could have said that to me and wonder what the purpose was, because I can't believe it was an accident. So, sorry if my state of mind is an inconvenience to anyone.

parallel universes again

2009-04-01T02:19:40Z

I've been reading The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams. At first I was disappointed to find out it wasn't fiction, but a collection of essays. But now I'm glad I picked it up. Everyone should read the cookies story. It's absolutely hilarious.

One of them sent me back to the parallel universe issues and reminded me of Neal Stephenson's book that I read recently. And it made me remember a question that I have: say, in all these alternative worlds just a little bit different from ours, there's a version of me, right? I mean in many of them. But it's not me. It can't be someone else either that looks like me. What if these parallel world simply exist, none of them more real than any other, and then our conscience/soul chooses a path in this multi-dimensional universe. So those copies of me are only probabilistic echoes and not beings with soul. Then I wonder, how do I know that everyone else's soul travels through the universe on the same alternative path as myself? What if we only cross paths from time to time? How many souls do really reside in this world and how many of the people I meet are only probabilistic echoes of beings from a different universe? Because if the multiverse exists, and it most likely does, there is no reason for my path through it to be the same as anyone else's. And of course, this is just speculation because I like to let my mind wander.

Coming back to American Idol, I am sorry for anyone in the competition who is not Adam, because they are a whole league behind him. He's got it all: looks, voice, energy. I just hope America knows what they're doing with the votes (guys, you got it right recently, don't screw up now, please).

Otherwise I'm sick again and totally miserable. It's a persistent cold that makes me think I might have a sinus problem. Except that the doctor didn't seem to believe that I had a sinus problem the last time I saw him and I don't feel like going back to him and whine. I'll do that here instead.

I had a question I wanted to ask someone. I don't anymore. There are things I wanted to say. I don't see the point in it anymore. Three weeks ago if someone had asked me how I was, I would have believed that they cared. I would have believed that maybe not everything that is wrong with the world and with myself is my fault. Now I don't think it matters.

white flags

2009-03-20T02:40:37Z

I can't believe I didn't notice before that I had the Fuse channel, in HD even. And MTV hits and VH1 classic. And Paladia apparently. It's decided: for the rest of my life I'm gonna just stay home and watch music on tv. And talking about it, I love this Dido song and it kind of reflects how I feel atm. Not that it makes any difference to anyone.

I'm thinking of taking a trip to NY in early April. I was kind of looking for an excuse to get out of town for a little while. It would be to see a musician I like, and there are other things I could be doing while there. Maybe even visit with an in-law. We can probably both use the company.

I've started to watch American Idol again last week. I like to wait until they are done with the first steps of the selection. That's when they are left with the best singers. I already have my clear favorite: the emo guy, with a Pete Wenz look and a voice that can hold a candle to Amy Lee of Evanescence. But I'm afraid he's too much into his style to go all the way through: he managed to make a country song sound like Marylin Manson (Randy said NIN - could also be).

Oh, I also finished a painting I've had in mind for a while, and it can be seen here.

golden statues

2009-02-23T19:26:30Z

I watched the Oscars yesterday. I was rooting for Kate Winslet for the lead female, not because I thought that role was good - I haven't seen the movie, the subject didn't appeal to me - but she's an amazing actress who should have won one already. Like everyone says. No surprise on the Heath Ledger best supporting, just a question: of the two women who came on stage, which one was the mom and which one the sister? I couldn't tell. Props to the mom for that.

I didn't expect Slumdog Millionaire to win so many of them, though. I've seen the movie, by myself, even though someone told me they wanted to see it, and I said I was interested. They never came up with a precise plan and I wasn't in the mood for waiting for anyone to make up their mind. Anyway, I think people should go see it. I know it's superhyped, but it's good. It's as simple as that.

I hate Jason Mraz. I hate his songs, I hate his happiness, I hate the implied message that if you just comply things will be fine. Things will not be fine. It's a fact. According to David Archuletta, if you don't like Jason Mraz or one of his songs, there is something wrong with you. Thanks, but I knew that already.

Lately, in the last couple of weeks or, more precisely since a particular trip, the things that I am not have started to weight on me. The dark matter of my life. You can't see it, but it's there, it's everywhere. Life seems full of impossibilities right now.

And I also wonder how I know things. Because I just know them sometimes. There's a cold little voice inside my head, sounding completely matter-of-factly, that states something. Something that should not be received with indifference by my mind and it's not, except for the part that makes the statement. Two days later it comes to pass. I would like to know if it's a sixth sense of some sort, or just the back of my mind processing the known facts in ways that I'm not aware of and pushing forward only the conclusions. I suspect a combination of the two. I don't like the little voice, because sometimes it comes with the word "should" in it and then things happen, and I don't want to cause things to happen that way.

clip

2009-02-20T04:10:28Z

For anyone who is curious to hear Liana and me sing, here's a clip I just added to youtube:

It's a traditional Romanian song with lyrics by Eminescu, about someone talking to a forest. I used GarageBand for the composition.

end of the story

2009-02-07T14:36:46Z

I finally finished the book Anathem. A few more impressions before I put it on the shelf. The thing about the dialog that I mentioned before, it turns out it was a good point and there was a reason for it. The way Neil Stephenson describes it, there is a directed graph of worlds, each one that has a connection to another one being closer to the perfect theoretical world (that of mathematical objects, like circles, or god, or a combination). The information circulates between these worlds down the connections (from more perfect world to less perfect ones). Events in one world reflect down the "Wick" (as this graph is called). There is a question that is asked and not answered in the book, why human beings from different parallel worlds are so similar - and the answer, based on the logic of all this, is that they are all reflections of a being that exist in that perfect world which is at the top of the Wick and from which the information descends into all the others. Which being would qualify as god, in fact. Except that nobody takes that logical step in the book.

It's also a funny explanation for Heaven and Hell, but not one that is given in the book. Well, a souls that would move "up" in the Wick, would go to a world closer to the perfect theoretical world, and thus better in many ways. A soul moving down in the Wick would indeed go to a world that is worse in many aspects. For example, where the Cold War actually results in a nuclear war. So Heaven would be what you get to if you move up as much as possible, while Hell is the convergence if you go down. But the question is also, are these two extreme world real, or can you just move up and down an infinite number of times without reaching the theoretical worlds, only getting asymptotically closer. But this is just my speculation on the ideas in the book.

In conclusion, I liked it a lot, I thought it was very smart. It was funny how usually when you get to the last quarter of a book, it usually goes fast because event sort of tumble towards the resolution, but with this one I still had to take my time because you really have to focus to get what's going on. Well, some of the details at least. The big lines are sort of clear.

Talking about Neils, I was happy to see that Gaiman got the Newbury award, and the Colbert bump for the Graveyard Book.

anathem again

2009-02-01T20:20:57Z

More on this book. I find the idea of Dialog interesting, in general and in this book. Some of the real life dialogs are either narratives (look what happened today), or exchange of information, which means that one of the parties in the dialog doesn't have an opinion on the subject to begin with, or planning, or just content-less small talk. All of these work fine. But there is one particular form of dialog where the two or more people don't agree on a subject. My experience is that this rarely leads to anybody changing their opinions. It often is a matter of bullying - who can throw arguments at the other one faster, and make them sound more clever, all the while trying to make it look as if the merits of said arguments matter, when in fact they don't. It's almost always a subjective thing, whether one agrees with an idea or not. Take the presidential debates, for example. Candidates have different opinions about one thing or another, neither of them concedes a point to the other very often, and most people who watch them don't go out with their opinions changed. I see these dialogs in general as rather pointless. Of course, I'm exaggerating too.

Well, in Anathem they really do have these dialogs on opposing ideas, and they are as logical as humans can make them, and there is usually a winner and both parties agree who it is. Just as in a boxing match you'd know who won and the loser would concede it as obvious. It's the obvious part that amazes me.

Another detail I like about it. The world is completely strange, different from any other fantasy book I've read, mostly in the organization of the society, although of course there are common elements with lots of familiar things. But the way it is presented, it's like starting from scratch with all the rules we take for granted (in a story involving elves, dwarfs and humans, you don't really need the rules thoroughly explained, for example). Usually after reading many books you have a good number of archetypes of characters in your mind of which you are more or less conscious, and while you read you associate the characters with one or another and that makes the expectations you have of this character easier to put in place. In Anathem this doesn't happen. There is not enough common background for archetypes to be easily pasted on anybody. It comes down to it after a while, but you need to read quite a lot about anybody to figure out who and what they are. It's probably more challenging than other books for this reason.

quantic brains

2009-01-30T17:45:58Z

I think I've mentioned here before an idea that I had that our brain basically can communicate sometimes with their counterparts in parallel universes through the quantic interferences. I had not read much about either by that point. In the meantime it seems that the idea that particles from our universe can interact with particles from parallel universes is more common than I thought. I'm not sure if it's accepted as one of those theories that have not been proved yet but that are very likely to be true (like string theory), or if it's seen as speculation.

The point it, I've found this exact theory taken further in the book I'm reading right now, Anathem by Neil Stephenson. In this book one character comes up with a theory that our brain use the quantic interferences with parallel universes to do computations all the time and for anything of some complexity. In one sense, it might as well be true, because some of the things our brain can compute are very hard to devise algorithms for.When I read that I was like "but of course". At the point where I am in the book, it is suggested that a whole concent (kind of like a monastery for mathematicians) has been making experiments with it.

The only difference with my theory is that in mine, the parallel universes might be out of phase with our in time, so you perceive things that might happen in the future.

Beside that the book is fantastic. I love it. The idea is a religious-like organization based on science, mostly mathematics with some physics and philosophy. There are many references to some mathematical theory or another which makes it nicer to a scientific, though probably pretty much anyone can read it. But they wouldn't find it as exciting. For example, they have the Traveling Salesman problem in there somewhere, but they call it the "lazy peregrin". I can see why I received it as a Xmas present.

nothing too much

2009-01-15T02:40:29Z

Apparently I'm a bit anemic right now and I have to take iron. This is weird because I don't feel weak and I don't look like it either. But anyway.

I've started to read Anathem by Neil Stephenson. So far it makes me think of Oblivion, the RPG. It's funny to imagine books that you read as taking place in games you play, even though the other way around is more common. I had a similar feeling with the first volume of the Princess Meredith series by Laurel K. Hamilton and Dark Age of Camelot, and then the Salvatore Drizzt series and World of Warcraft. Having some creatures in common is one thing, but there's more than that. I wonder which book could make me think of LOTRO... no, wait, I know that one.

3 movies were waiting for me as I got back home. I was hoping at least one of them would make me feel good, but they were all heavy dramas (how do I choose these movies again and why?). The best one was Bad Education, by Almodovar. With Gael Garcia Bernal as a very attractive transvestite. Maybe not the strongest Almodovar movie out there, but still worth seeing.

back home

2009-01-12T19:50:15Z

I'm in a fixing mood this week. That's what happens when I have enough time to relax for a while. My thing right now is, "if it doesn't work, fix it". Well, and I always end up finding out that there are thing you simply can't fix and give up. After a while.

Something annoying happened while I was away: I got a virus on my laptop. I was just innocently browsing something on deviantArt (so beware whoever uses that site) when things went crazy, and they are still crazy. The virus is contained but some stuff doesn't work anymore. It looks like the only way I can get it back to normal is to reinstall everything (yay, what a drag), and the problem with that is that they didn't give me a system CD, it came as a separate partition, and I've installed a Linux thingie on top of the usual install - didn't wipe out anything, but things might be harder to find now. All sorts of issues. I've seriously considered erasing everything and going with an Ubuntu only system. If I could play all my games on it, I would. It's amazing how you have your anti-virus up to date and it catches the virus, but damage is still done. I mean, why do I bother with it in the first place?

On a different note, I didn't think that being called "woman" could be so funny. Especially in a sentence starting with "seriously". Serious, me? You gotta be kidding.

the great mosquito song

2008-12-31T00:31:43Z

To be sung to the army marching song.

Walking in the park today
Mosquito bit my arm away
If I fall upon my back
Please just leave me in the track
These mosquitoes suck your blood
Then they drag you through the mud
Got my blisters during the week
No more red bumps do I seek
Don't despair we will fight back
Kill mosquito with a smack

This is a collective poem with 4 authors.

oh boy

2008-12-14T21:28:51Z

I watched 4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days last night. Another Romanian depressing movie and I was glad that I didn't watch it alone, this time. Way better than the Nervous System though. I expected it to be tough, I just didn't think it would be so literal. It took me back twenty years ago on several levels and some of the memories were bitter-sweet. Like the guy doing the black market thing in the dorms. Or the army uniform on one of the girls, complete with the little cap. I can see why it won the Palme D'Or at Cannes last year, though. Everyone acted very well, so well that it didn't feel like acting at all. Yes, that's how people are over there, some of them. I suspect that the party scene was from Mungiu's own memories, what with his parents being doctors and probably many of their friends too. People who are best friends but still call each other "Doctor Such and Such". Kind of a medieval mentality in a way. Ok, so my cultural and ethnic deed of the week is done. I can now watch The Day The Earth Stood Still in good conscience.

I also finished Joe Hill's 20th Century Ghosts yesterday, to my regret. I like this author a lot. This is a collection of short horror-ish stories and I love the way he draws you into the plot almost from the first paragraph, how he keeps you interested even through parts that seem common place, and how often you realize about half way through that this is a completely different story than what you were thinking. Or what you expected. His writing style also works well for me, not too cynical, not too sweet. I think there is still one novel by him out there that I haven't read yet and it's going on my list of things to do.

inspiration

2008-12-07T16:06:22Z

I had a dream last night about a research subject. When I woke up this morning I realized that it's something I might like to do indeed. Then another idea spun off from it, and that's something that I will be working on for real. Something that I've been thinking of a while back but never got around to it because it wasn't clear in my mind how it would go. It's good to get inspiration just a couple of weeks short of your sabbatical starting.

I've been spending quite a lot of time in Moria lately, and in spite of dying a lot more than I would like, I still can't wait to get back. It's a tricky thing, the zone. Normally when you have a map and you need to go from A to B, you decide on a path on the map and then take it. Not here. Some of the areas might be just mazes, and the map helps in those cases, but others have several layers and there are many places where you can fall to your death, and a path that looks like a path on the map might not be connected at all. It takes a while to learn your way around. They did a good job of giving the players a feeling of being lost in there, just like the fellowship was.

OMG

2008-12-01T03:54:33Z

I finally got around to seeing Sistemul Nervos (the nervous system) by Mircea Danieliuc and the OMG is the best way to describe how I feel. It's so depressing. It actually made my tummy ache, seeing all these people with hernias. All along I wanted to ask, is that supposed to be grandma? The movie was made indeed after a story written by her. I think the director spent some time talking to her because the imitation was pretty good. I recognized some of the gestures and expressions, even the woman who plays her looks like her. The second part was a bit more surreal, the riot and everything, and less credible, but it went well with the evolution of her state of mind. It ended with a few reflections that were well thought though terribly sad - the kind of thing that rings true and for which you don't really have a good answer. It made me feel terrible about everything: poor people, old people, women, men, retired people, pretty much everyone in the movie is completely pathetic. Except for Paul, of course. I liked the dual nature of his appearances in her dreams, it was well done.

Now I feel kind of sick (and it doesn't help that I really am sick) and I may wash this movie out of my mind with Princess Bride. Or a few hours of LOTRO. I also need to remember that my real grandma is prettier, healthier, with a good fashion sense, who takes good care of herself, is full of energy, and the last I heard she had a boyfriend. So there, Mr. Danieliuc.